To understand why we have these disputes over bit of rocks which are insignificant in themselves, you have to put yourself in the mind of the things which are in charge.
They have a mind set and are limited to that mindset and can only see the world from that point of view.
Our leaders have been selected through a system which promotes, the most competitive to the top. They don't know, and are unable to think about concepts like cooperation, they will work with another only so long as it serves their own interest, as soon as it does not they will have no compunction about stabbing the other in the back.
From this mindset of competition everything is used to further your own position.
So when a government ratchet up a dispute over ownership of a rock, may they have several motives. They may not be interested in the rock at all, but want to use it as a negotiating chip over another matter. So say China may eventually settle the dispute with Japan over the Rock when trading terms between the two countries are settled more in Chinas favour. Or it maybe distraction China is fed up with the criticism of its human rights, and will back down over the islands when human rights are less reported.
Or it could be like Argentina, and Britain use the Falklands, or Britain and Spain use Gibraltar, that when the economy is not doing well, and the government is under criticism they ratchet up the dispute to distract the population, and rally them around the flag.
The thing is that often the governments do not want to come to a full settlement over these areas of dispute, because they are so useful a tool in their competitive world.
It is only occasionally like when the Russians felt they needed to show the Germans they were a strong military power, and chose to do it by eating a good chunk of Finland would the scum that run us choose to loose these tools.