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  • shankara
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It began with the shedding of blood. I'd already gone through “the Dark Night of The Soul”, escaped from the spiritual clutches of Aleister Crowley and found a genuine Teacher, a Shaman who used a mixture of two plants known as “AYAHUASCA” or “YAGE” to heal. I had a strong spiritual orientation, I knew right from wrong, and knowing this I became useful to the dark ones. Consciously practising evil is more use to them than simple slavery.

Blood can attract demons, the shedding of blood calls the dark forces, as I should have known. Shamans following the traditional indigenous disciplines prohibit menstruating women from being present at ceremonies, many other religions have similar taboos. I had also been told a story about a magician trying to invoke a spirit having cut himself shaving, and the spirit becoming angry. So one can only imagine what kind of energies the unjust shedding of the blood of another person invokes…

I had inflicted a serious injury on somebody and was bound to be going to prison. Disoriented I made contact with some of the intelligences that run things on this planet (the Mossad etc.). At this point I thought I was a danger to them, that I could threaten an uprising if imprisoned. Obviously I was deeply delusional.

Having run away from the place where I committed the act, I one day a few months later found myself in a town in the U.K., my homeland. A guy came up to me and invited me to a “party”, I went with him and found myself in an artists' studio. There were a middle-aged couple and a beautiful young woman there, as well as the guy who brought me.

They offered me wine, I was a drinker and so naturally I took it. Then the woman of the couple offered me Ecstasy crystals (mdma), which at first I refused. I hadn't taken chemical drugs for years and my Teacher was strongly against them.

After a while I was tipsy from the drink. She offered me the Ecstasy again and this time I accepted. After the chemical took effect, the guy who'd invited me sat down next to me while the others went to the other side of the room. He asked:

“What's the wisdom?”

I told him something which I’d learnt from Tibetan Buddhism, some magical words. The alcohol and the Ecstasy had acted as a truth serum, like in the C.I.A. experiments combining barbiturates and amphetamine.

Enjoying the high, and realising I was being initiated into something (though not entirely sure who exactly the people were), I asked for another dose, which they gave me. The initiation with the Ecstasy, I now understand to have converted the violence I had committed into an Illuminati Blood Sacrifice.

The morning arrived, we stepped out into the dawning day. As the guy who invited me and I left the studio, the guy from the older couple came outside with us. He asked "How old are you?", I told him my age and he said "You don't look more than 15 to me". I looked quite young but not that young. Number 15 is "The Devil" in the Tarot, or perhaps it was something else... Either way, when he spoke I felt something being transmitted to me, had a sudden feeling of presence. Evidently he was the boss, the higher in the hierarchy.

It was the guy who had invited me who was to be my contact. When we arrived back at his place, he stood in front of me, looking at me, and began to say things which didn't all seem to fit together but which gave me a feeling of great fear.

“My friend ----, he's a bit gay and a bit of a motherfucker... yeah, a bit gay and a bit of a motherfucker” (I felt like he was talking about me and any moment he'd reveal he was from the intelligence services sent to kill me)... “I was having visions of Jesus and Mohammed”... “The Mother...”… and other things, not all of which I remember, though I remember the feeling of tuning in with some cruel and shadowy intelligence, a force without love.

I was now programmed, he had programmed me with the help of the chemical. He gave me the address of a Tibetan Buddhist centre, a group who worship “Dorje Shugden” (considered to be a satanic force), then I went on my way.

Over the course of the next few days I saw him regularly. He invited me to a party at his friends', his birthday party in the same place I’d taken the Ecstasy, and we went to meditation classes at the Tibetan centre. The “normality” of his life, his many local friends and girlfriend, convinced me that he wasn't actually some kind of secret agent, he was one of the Dark Illuminati but he wasn't actually on anyone's payroll. Years later I even found him on the internet, he seemed to have a family and was using the same name he gave me.

Spiritually and psychologically I lost it completely at this point. I began masturbating regularly as a means of invoking demonic forces. I went insane, I was already pretty frayed but the programming pushed me off the deep end. I painted a picture of Jesus on the Cross which I placed in the toilet of the community I was living in with words written on it, something like “Piss On Ishvara” (a Hindu name of God which Tibetans consider to be a demon). I put documents through the door of the “Buddhist” centre calling for animal sacrifices in churches in order to prevent a possible nuclear war.

I meditated together with the programmer, and he played some guided meditations on the stereo to initiate me deeper into the dark mysteries. I also took some more Ecstasy on my own initiative.

A couple of weeks later he invited me to come abroad with him and I accepted. Somehow he had a thousand pounds in cash, despite the fact he was living on social welfare. This was the only thing I saw which suggested he might have some kind of intelligence contacts. We crossed the sea by boat and then wandered about, sleeping in cheap hotels the first couple of nights. I was normally very adept at surviving and living well while travelling, I'd always been able to find ways to get by even when travelling with no money, but now I was too crazy and he was clueless. He tried to get me to divine with “Angel Cards”, but an inner voice told me “the diviner shall be put to death” (I don't think that absolutely all of the Old Testament’s prohibitions are valid, but “Angel Cards” are a negative form of divination).

After three nights we found ourselves in a city, where we slept in different places after the police moved us on. He seemed concerned that we stayed together but the tent was pitched in a bad spot and too cramped for me. I awoke beneath a bush, right outside the city's cathedral. It was Sunday and I had the urge to go and hear Mass. I went and found him, he was putting the tent away, and invited him to come with me. He walked into the church but before the Mass started he said “No...” and walked swiftly out looking spooked.

Either he was a very dogmatic Tibetan Buddhist, or he was scared of the CHRIST, scared of any kind of positive spiritual force. Tibetan Buddhism, by the way, is generally considered to be a doctrine professed by black magicians, as in it's distorted form it is all about developing “Siddhi” or magical powers. Unfortunately it has degenerated so much as a teaching that it is very difficult, even for a sincere person, to exercise proper discrimination in practising it, for example to tell black magic mantras from positive ones.

That morning we split up finally, I went on to the place where he had planned to take me, a community of anarchists (having failed to find the route of the pilgrimage I had an urge to walk).

The next couple of months in that community were a blur of chaos. I was so completely insane that I couldn't even have a normal conversation with anyone. I interpreted everything anyone said as having strange and mysterious significance. My emails to the Mi5, the Mi6, the Mossad, became a daily occurrence. Now I hoped that maybe they could save me from my fate, maybe I could become one of them, kill for them perhaps if necessary. My communications were crazy stuff mostly, thinking I'd cracked some kind of code in Tibetan mantras. But I was also becoming genuinely dark, demanding that they physically attack the Teacher I was formerly involved with.

Did the intelligences know what I had done? Were they intentionally letting me spiral into paranoia because it would be useful to them?

I continued down the path of darkness and degeneration, was lucky not to have killed anyone in the state of utter madness I was in. I even sacrificed a cat, believing it would keep me out of prison. Finally I found myself in a squat in another country, having been effectively sent away from the community as I was simply too crazy for people to deal with. The squat was a truly horrific place, stuffy and claustrophobic, as horrible as a prison cell.

A couple of days later I was arrested, imprisoned and extradited. I'd reached a point where I barely even understood that prison was inevitable, I thought perhaps I would be shot or perhaps I'd become a secret agent, but not simply subject to a “normal” trial.

I was diagnosed with a mental illness by a psychiatric expert and imprisoned indefinitely for the safety of the public. Anti-psychotic drugs were obligatory, otherwise I could be in for a very long time. I could only go out when the doctors believed me to be no longer dangerous.

I continued practising the Satanism I had been initiated into, degenerating myself voluntarily. Things took on a new meaning, I understood what the pop songs on the music channel were about, I felt myself as a part of the dark armies. I continued and intensified my attacks on my former Teacher, claiming that he had brainwashed me etc., and also attacked anything related with the light, using any conversation with anyone as a kind of opportunity to invoke the diabolical forces.

It didn't seem to be working, until I was transferred to another prison. It was a lot nicer than the first one, and to my demonic delight the doctors there seemed to fall under my spell. They started to agree with what I was saying: “I was brainwashed by an evil cult”, “they gave me drugs” etc., and to push for me to be released.

What I was saying was true, except I was talking about the wrong people, confusing the Good with the Bad. My former Teacher, the Shaman, had shown me the deeper reality of things, had “washed my brain”, washing away foolishness with divine wisdom. In fact he had awakened me from my previously brainwashed state. He had used AYAHUASCA to heal me and bring me back into contact with Mother Nature.

It was this that I claimed to be “brainwashing”, “use of drugs” etc.

I didn't talk about the Satanic programming and the use of Ecstasy to effect it, the real Evil Cult which I was actually in - which had raped my mind with a neurotoxic chemical to attune me to the Evil Powers of Babylon.

I was blaspheming the light, attacking the good and justifying the dark. I suddenly became in favour of the oppression of the Palestinians etc., I intentionally inverted all my value systems and became intoxicated with the fire of Lucifer. I also claimed to be bisexual and to have fallen into crime through “sexual repression”, knowing that the degenerates would reward me for furthering their agenda.

I knew about Monarch and the ritual abuse aspect of it, tried to make myself comfortable with it, even masturbated over girls on TV too young for sex. In some Tibetan scriptures a girl of ten is considered to be old enough to practise “Karma Mudra” with, and I even convinced myself that the way to save the world would be to lower the age of consent to ten.

So I was sure that they were going to let me out of prison after a couple of years - but they didn't, the judiciary postponed it for a minimum of a year. This made me bitter, but it also made me start to realize that as the QURAN says:

“Satan promises them nothing but deceit”.

I was disillusioned, and developed the desire to turn back towards the LIGHT…

It wasn't easy to break the pattern of vice, but thankfully soon I had the opportunity to undergo some healing, with the help of GANJA which I have always found to be medicine for the soul. It showed me what I had become, and thanks to this I managed to get myself back on track. I took up spiritual disciplines again and started speaking in a way which was closer to the Truth. Overcoming physical vices is one thing, but mental vices like lying are also very hard to overcome, and when we lie to others we tend to lie to ourselves as well. “The Devil is the father of lies” and consciously lying with the intention of controlling others is black magic, even the very definition of black magic, because black magic is creating illusion to keep others under control.

I am still a very fallen person, but with the help of GOD I've arrived at a much better state than the one I was in, and will keep striving to make further spiritual progress.

At least I am now able to tell this tale... And whatever happens to me is in the hands of GOD.

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User(s) who Liked this post: Truthspoon


  • Truthspoon
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Wow....glad you made it here in one piece...


Your story about meeting those people in the studio and being offered ecstasy reminds me of something that happened to me along those lines.

Recently I found myself in a little OTO nest in Camden Town. The following is verbatim the odd conversation I ended up having after a night of virtually stumbling into a black gang initiation involving a rubber glove which was left draped over a urinal and also offers of cocaine and a couple of strangely underage girls who seemed to be tagging around some of the people and a nasty strange sort of ‘cult’ atmosphere along with an unexpected confrontation with a strange 'Jewish' Zionist who seemed to be somehow mixed up in it all:

“When I went back to the bar I noticed that a few people including the bar-staff were sniffing and touching their noses and looking a big spacey. I went outside for a cigarette and remarked that most of the people here including seemed to be using these guys’ coke.

In front of me stood a short fat hairy man with a red face. He greeted me and asked me if I knew who I was. The strange thing was that as soon as he said this all of the thirty odd people outside suddenly scattered in all directions, like a kind of dissolved flash-mob.

And I couldn’t get over the strong impression that him addressing me was a signal for everyone around who presumably were part of this thing with black gangs and coke or whatever it was.

I asked him for a cigarette and he gave me a one willingly and asked me where I was from. I told him. He then told me that he was from Israel.

I told him I lived in Morocco and he seemed surprised and said:
“Aren’t you scared?” he seemed scared for me and I just smiled in disbelief.
“Why would I be scared?” and I immediately dismissed him as a lunatic and misinformed bigot of some kind. But he got excited and told me the he was from Morocco.
“Were you born there?”
“No, I was born in Israel but my parents are from Morocco.”

It seemed strange to see a man like him here, I didn’t quite understand what a man like this was doing here at all. His presence, like the presence of the black drug gangsters initiating each other in pub toilets, was somehow an imposition.

Then he leapt into a strange sort of sales-pitch for the state of Israel, and I wondered if this could be connected to the spooky events of the evening. Was the free cocaine part of it too? If I had been coked up I wonder if I would be more receptive to this hairy red faced short little Israeli man. He told me all about the Hebrew patriarchs and I told him my man was Jesus.

He then went into an incredible spiel blending mathematics with religion, going on about the generations of man and asking me to make daft little calculations about how many generations ago Jesus lived. I think part of it was an attempt to bamboozle me with numbers and getting me to give answers and also affirm his calculations, in a sort of rhetoric of acquiescence to make me more receptive to his ultimate message whatever that turned out to be. Maybe this is what religious mind control looks like.

“So now, you like Jesus, so how many generations from now to Jesus? 1 generation is 25 years.”
“So 60 generations?”
“Yes, so 60 generations, so how many to Abraham, 120, 60 more than Jesus. Right?” I nodded.
“And how many to Noah. Ten more generations, seventy generations before Jesus am I right?” I shrugged.

He continued: “And now, how many from Abraham to Adam. Remember they lived longer in those days because they were closer to God but we can call it 20 more generations! And Adam was the perfect man, and Noah was almost as perfect and was spared by God and Abraham was next in perfection and chosen by God, and then a long time later comes Jesus.” His idea was as clear as it was ridiculous, that because Abraham was older than Jesus that he was better.

Because he was closer to Adam who was according to this man ‘more perfect’ than Jesus despite the story of the fall from paradise. It was certainly a strange kind of theology.

“Do you know the story of Abraham and Sodom and Gomorrah!” I said I did.
“That Abraham made a deal with God that God would not destroy the city if 50 good men could be found in it. Then he gradually convinced God to accept a smaller and smaller number of good men to be found because he knew there were so few. Until God accepted not to destroy Sodom if 10 good men were to be found there.” I wondered to myself if he was trying to tell me something about the nature of Zionist terror, that they first corrupt the culture in order to find as few righteous just people within it giving them the excuse they need to act for ‘God’ and destroy it. Rather like the League of Shadows from Batman Begins.

“We are animals” He said suddenly “We have to protect our family” I didn’t know quite where he was going with this but suddenly he had become quite bellicose and seemed to be rousing himself to some new religiously inspired madness.

“If I attacked you you would need protection wouldn’t you? He seemed to jeer at me.
“In ancient times I would fight you.” He said and I stopped him short:
“Hang on I there, I’d give you a pretty good run for your money. I can go nuts if I need to.”
He backed off and stopped trying to physically initimidate me:
“We need a big war to sort everything out in the middle east. We need to be safe from our enemies.”
“Your enemies?”
“The Muslims! We need answers.”
“I have the answers.” I said, because I did, I was drunk. Anything's possible when you're drunk.

I smiled at him in his angry bellicose fluster and in my drunken messianic righteous King guise I disarmed his diatribe and showed him I wouldn’t be joining his strange little club.

He looked at me and walked off. He either didn’t understand or had to admit that he had totally failed to convince me that Israel should be allowed to instigate a huge world war to kill all its Muslim neighbours.

In fact I had had quite an eventful day in London, I turned it into a short story, except everything actually really happened.
Last Edit: 12 May 2018 10:31 by Truthspoon.
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  • shankara
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The OTO eh... Crowley is very seductive for the spiritually immature, I almost joined myself once, would've done if I hadn't forgot the day of the initiation. Like your blog, interesting stuff.
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